Things I don't get:

It seems my workplace is full of people trapped in time. Because I cannot go a day without seeing yet another woman who insists on wearing their hair like this:





(Note: The person to the left is not someone I know. Thank google image search for the wonderful example though!)

Why do women still insist on wearing their hair like this?

It looked bad in the 80's, and it looks worse now. Yet on a daily basis...more of them emerge; smelling of aqua net; scrunchies in place. Are there salons stuck in time that still feather bangs and do perms? How does this happen?

No really...I want to know. Because the thing is, anyone who insists on wearing their hair like this also seems to be an absolute cunt, at least in my experience.

At one point recently I was at a meeting and some fat bitch who has her hair like this (that day it was worn back with a red scrunchie that clashed wonderfully with the pink floral shirt she wore) decided to spend the first 10 minutes regaling us with tales of her vacation which was, in a word, painfully boring. (Ok, that was two words.) She spoke loudly and laughed even louder, clearly getting off on monopolizing our time. During this time I studied the foul specimen: grossly overweight, clearly an avid Wal*Mart shopper (though her wardrobe seemed a step below even that, something I didn't think was possible...do Dollar Stores sell clothing?)...but yet so fucking full of herself. How? Why? After some thought, I realized its a simple lack of awareness.

Its not that I'm suggesting one need to be on the cusp of fashion in order to have an ego. That's not it at all.

What it is is the simple fact that most people just don't LOOK at anything other than their reflection. Whether literal (the two second glance in the mirror) or the figurative (hey, my life is a+b+c...therefore I am awesome.) Its myopic. They fall into these traps where they do and say and wear the same things and proudly being "creatures of habit" when the truth is they are boring and unimaginative. They do the same things because they lack the capacity for change and original thought. They've had the same haircut since 1982...so why change now?

Its kind of disturbing when you think about it because it is precisely this attitude that has gotten the U.S. into the situation we're in: why LOOK at reality when we can just take such and such at face value and go forward from there? Its OK the way it is! We're ALL OKAY!

Clearly, this is not, nor has it ever been the case.

So...is it really the case that the insistence on a bad, unfashionable, hideous hair cut could really be a metaphor for everything wrong with this country?

I don't know.

But I do know I want to take a fucking scissor to their heads. And not to stab them with it. I just want to get rid of their fucking hair.